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In Search of Goodpussy: Living Without Love, by Don Spears
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In Search of Goodpussy is an explicit, personal, social, psychosexual perspective defining "what makes men tick, specifically, what makes Black men tick.." Through an historical periscope, the personal, social, political, cultural and economic conditions of the Black man are viewed. The reader is able to observe how these conditions and their effects have catapulted the Black man from a place in time beginning 350 years ago (in America) to a landing in the very same place 350 years later. Black men and black women are at odds in relationships. There are behavioral realities that exist between black men and black women that are deadly, and sometimes irreversible, that impede and preclude establishing loving unions. This is an honest, self-help book intended for real people who are aware that there is a need for a totally new way to understand and appreciate problems in relationships between black men and black women in America. In Search of Goodpussy is a candid and frank presentation of a bold new concept to help people cope with and survive the painful uncertainty of today's relationships.
- Sales Rank: #377524 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Milligan Books
- Published on: 2013-04-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .59" w x 5.51" l, .88 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 280 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Most helpful customer reviews
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Eye opening and candid
By A Customer
Don Spears pulls no punches in this book. His approach is straight forward; candidly covering issues such as homosexuality, masturbation and things that make men tick in general. This kind of subject matter was normally taboo for black men, unitl now. He covers the things most men think about, but never admit.
Very well done Don. MSJ Evanston Illinois
21 of 25 people found the following review helpful.
"A customer" who sees differently
By mslabelle
The first question one must ask before reading this book is "Why". Why am I as a woman (a BLACK woman) about to read this book?
Naturally everything is about perspective. My perspective is that this book needs to be read by ALL. Black. White. Male and Female.
Its purpose goes beyond the plane of pettily categorizing a woman's place in society. It's not even about that. It's not really about women (even though it is a great tool for women). It's ALSO not about excuses for being raped. Or about encouraging sleazy men to carry on in promiscuous ways that destroy their relationships and lives.
This book is about African American Men. Their history and their make up. It is a waking up call for black men, as well as black women as our roles and history are intertwined. This book goes a long way to explain why black men, raised under historical circumstances that are CLEARLY described in the book, are framed the way they are and go on to do what they do to themselves and each other. Alternatively, it draws a clear picture about how other black males are able to stay clear of such "typical" patterns. Above all, this book is empowering to black men, who NEED to believe different things about themselves, so they can become conscious, accountable and do things differently. Treat them selves differently. And in turn treat their women and children differently.
Women...Black women need to read this book. We need to assume some responsibility in all of this, because we birth and breed these men. Our role here is crucial, because we are dealing with black men. BLACK MEN. I wish I could say it so you can understand that I am referring to Royalty. Kings. Sons of God. Descendants of Africa. Ladies, our actions have been making and breaking them for years. From the dawn of Africa, the black woman has been a force to be reckoned with. Men sort marriage for a reason. To marry a black woman meant you finally, as a proud black man, had a reason to be proud. Over the decades as cultures have become diluted, even in Africa we have been abused. Yes. But still our place remains just as crucial if not more, because our men have changed because they were tampered with. We (their strength) have a role to play in restoring them. Our place does lie in propelling them forward through love and support, because they have truly been displaced. We are still segregated with well calculated exceptions, so like it or not all we have as black women and black men is each other. The sooner we start nurturing these men back to health, the sooner we can enjoy them the way they were meant to be to begin with.
Back to the book:
There is NOTHING negative in this book. It is REAL. And the tone is far from malicious or chauvinist. Given that there are critics everywhere (including myself), I advice you to ignore EVERYONE and just decide for yourself. But being it's highly unlikely that you'll do that, since you sort out the review section, I advise you to then decide HOW you're going to read this book. You're either going to stay in the mode that we're usually condition to be in whenever you see a book that has a chauvinist sounding title (or) talks loosely about social issues we rather pretend do not exist (or) talks about black men as victims (for a change) (or) worse still has a picture of a black man on it (with a very odd looking cat).
OR you're going to be open and LISTEN to the words as they are intended to communicate something that is not found in most books looking to turn a buck by raving about 12 steps to pleasing your man. This book is beyond that, and if you're mature enough to do the latter, you will take a lot from it.
This book is definitely for adults. And by that I do not mean a certain age and over. Some adults can not and should not read this book, unless they are open to truly understanding the force behind it.
If you are white, you need to read this also. As blacks are disillusioned about their history and the part it plays in their lives, non-blacks too might just be as ignorant of their history and the part it plays in their lives. You might swear you are not "racist", and may that be the case (Amen). However racist or not, this book brings a level of consciousness that you cannot afford to turn away from, particularly as a white person who believes to not be a part of the problem. Call it a challenge. This book might just bring something to your attention. If you're open.
Being a survivor of child sexual abuse, I was surprised I was able to get through the chapter on Sex and Power....Do not choose to be offended in this chapter as I was initially. It is not an attempt to justify sexual abuse. I eventually decided to read this chapter as part of a bigger picture. A bigger problem. Bigger than me when I was eight and victimized. My abuse was a continuation of my abusers abuse. The cycle is vicious and deep, but an understanding of the sickness can save not just those who are abused, but the abusers themselves.
The sense of empowerment has eluded me for years (because of what happened). I have experience identity issues and have spent most of my life swearing only to date white men without thinking why. I am not saying anything negative about interracial dating...On the contrary, even the book mentions this and you will find it ironic that black on white "fit" better (literally). Anyway, my point is, I was determined to date only white men cause of my issues with my color. Self hate if you will. This book, coupled with my efforts to heal, has somehow pieced it all together. In the space of a week reading this book, I can honestly say that it is difficult to deny my conviction to stand by my black brother/lover/friend. No one else is.
Like I said, only people ready to face themselves (adults) can truly grasp the genius and necessity of this book. Some of it is hard to digest being a 20s girl. But all of it is real. And it's time to snap out of this trance.
And this book has changed my life.
Hope you get it. Even if you don't, please hug a black man today and tell him how much he is appreciated.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Awesome and Funny.
By A Customer
This is one of the best books I have read. It deals with so much of the actual problems and questions that "black men" deal with in their relationships, from infidelity to interracial dating. It is a must have and a must read. I have read it at least 6 times in 2 years.
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